Rock Bottom

I stepped on the scale this morning, hadn't done it in a long time, and the number hit me like a blow to the stomach. 64,2. That's the highest I've ever been. I know that it's not smart to weigh yourself after a binge day, but I just had to know where I'm at right now. And for me this is definitely a wake up call. Because it means that I can't fix it by starving myself for a few hours/days/weeks, but that I have to make permanent changes to my diet so that I never ever overeat again. 

The Plan:

• three meals a day, no snacking
• paying attention to small portion sizes
• preferably raw fruit and vegetables, all other food only in company of others
• weighing myself everyday
• no food in my room, only eating at the dinner table
• exercising every day
• drinking lots of water and (green!) tea

The exercise part of the plan is not that hard for me, because I've been exercising daily for 30 to 60 minutes since the beginning of the year. However I still need to wait a few more days until I can start again for medical reasons... Sucks. The hardest part for me is going to be the small portion sizes, I often find that I can't stop eating once I've started... But eating when being around others will help me with that, since I'm not going to pig out in front of them.

Overall I want to be under 60 in about three weeks. It's a lot of weight to lose (if you're not starving yourself), but I want it to be a permanent thing so I need to watch out not to damage my metabolism. And I guess the weight is going to fall off once the binging stops and I can resume my exercise regime. Besides that exercising always boosts my mood and lowers my appetite, so I can't wait to start again.

My biggest goal: Feeling confident in myself again.